Unexpected New Chapters — Suzanna Hendricks

It’s been a big few months (mom has been in critical recovery, we moved Mary to Seattle, I moved into my new apartment, Andrea moved out of her home on the coast to care for mom - I could go on and on) and words have seemed hard to find. I wasn’t sure I when I would share this personally significant news more widely. But big life has/is happening and it finally felt right to let others into the journey. I’ll say — life has gotten very real, very fast - for my whole family. As of September 6th, I became the legal guardian of my little sister Mary (Gina) with Downs Syndrome, and my sister Andrea (Maya) was equally appointed as guardian for our mom, Rhonda.
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After my Mom’s severe stroke on July 4th, it was quickly clear that her life and Mary’s (Gina’s) — (all of our lives) were going to change intensely. My mom didn’t have a Power of Attorney established which led weeks of discussing, deciding, circling and seeking legal counsel as we made big decisions for two people we all love. Amidst a multitude of decisions one critical one was guardianship, as Mom and Mary would need full time care + support.

Signing those papers felt (was) weighty — important, a long game decision (the biggest personal one yet!) and was my commitment to my sisters best quality of life + care. Something we all quietly anticipated one day would happen - but never imagined it like this. I cannot say the decision wasn’t difficult - asking myself was I the best one to take on this role? If she had a medical emergency could I make life and death decisions for her? Was I ready? (the answer was no haha). But, I believe in her having the most whole life and she is my beloved little sister - and want to carry on the life experience Mom had built for her and add to it in whatever ways I am able.
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We’re learning at a fire house so.many.things — and quite honestly not sure all that comes next. In this immediate next season, our older sister, Julie and brother in law, Chris, have graciously moved Mary into their home as we integrate her into a new life, new city, new normal. All while managing their full time jobs and raising their darling 3 1/2 year old, Fern.

Andrea is leading Mom’s care and recovery in Vancouver until more permanent decisions are made of where Mom’s most holistic/supported quality of life can be implemented. I’m quickly learning all about complex paperwork, guardianship, medical management, care management - fumbling through a lot , and our sister Sarah is stepping into as part time care giver for Mary. Sarah’s impact on Mary is the most beautiful and I am so thankful they can step in.

Guardianship for us means extensive paperwork, care, financial and medical management, coordinating with social services, reporting to the WA Superior Courts, and extensive other responsibilities. Give me a few years and I’ll be a pro at DSHS, SSI, Medicare, DDA, DVR (but right now a total novice)

It’s a season of expanding capacity, learning limitations, carrying grief while actively care giving and navigating complex issues, systems and needs. I’ve learned so much in these past few months - hard lessons. Really important ones about being fully present in the midst of tragedy and some of life’s hardest days. We can use all of your prayers, light and hope. My greatest prayer is that we are able to provide the best care for these women we love, take care of ourselves, and remain in tact as a family through it all.

Note: Take the time and meet as a family, establish POA, Advanced Directives, emergency planning. We thought we had more time and our lack of preparation has intensified an already intense situation. Trust us. Take the time.